I take the bus.  Everyday for 4 hours a day, just to get to work and home.  I call it “Doing My Part”, at least that’s what I tell other people and myself.  Really, I’m just a loser without a car!  And I have yet to find a car, insurance, gas etc. that costs less than a bus pass.  Just recently in Portland, which happens to have one of the best public transportation systems in the country, or at least it did, there has been an onslaught of what I refer to as “newbies”.  Apparently, these newbies have either not been trained properly or are in fact mildly retarded.
Multi-Tasking: the ability to perform multiple tasks at once.
I’m thinking roughly 85% of the newbies do not possess the ability to talk and drive at the same time!  Come on, people!  If you can’t talk and drive, perhaps bus driver is not the right career choice for you!  I swear, some of these people should not even have a license, let alone a license to operate a large vehicle!  Missing stops, running over curbs, and just generally inventing their own route.  People standing at the back door yelling to no avail, wanting desperately to get off the damn bus before the driver actually runs someone over!  Of course, I’m still trying to figure out why the city puts those planter/curb things in the middle of the street?!  I’m thinking it’s to slow drivers down (yeah like that works), or just one of those random acts of beauty that we in the NW are so famous for. 
Now normally, I don’t complain too much about it, but it seems like lately, they’ll let anyone drive the damn things!  This makes me feel oh-so-safe.  However, after the third hour or so at night, when all I really want is my shoes off and a stiff drink in hand, the $76.00 a month bus pass is not looking so hot.  Sheer idiocy, combined with drunken and/or smelly people rather grates on my nerves.  I often wonder: where do the cool drivers go?  I miss the lesbian lady, who smoked cigarettes at the Rose Quarter with me, and would always stop, even if I wasn’t at the bus stop yet, just running maniacaly down the street, arms-waving.  Really though, can anyone tell me that at this point in our society, that a two week gas bill is less than what I pay per month?!  It’s fucking ridiculous!  That however is an altogether different rant about the price of gas and the horrid state of affairs of our country and economy.  Maybe next time. 


Damn I need a car!


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Filed under Blogs - 2009

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